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7 characteristics of the insecure child

7 characteristics of the insecure child


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Throughout childhood, children face situations or challenges that will make their personality stronger or, on the contrary, more insecure.

The consequence of not letting him do things by himself, helping him excessively in some tasks in which he has shown himself to be capable, insisting on carrying out the tasks between the two, leads to an interpretation on his part that you are not able to perform tasks on your own and instead of understanding that it is helpful, he develops a fear of doing things himself and becomes insecure.

1. Low self-esteem: He doesn't dare to do some things by himself just because he doesn't think he can do them well. Therefore, he will not participate in class or in any activity. He is a child who is very afraid of making mistakes and disappointing others and is always thinking that he is 'worthless'.

2. Reserved when expressing their feelings for fear of feeling criticized or rejected.

3. Lack of autonomy: This means that they will be highly dependent on parents for any activity, from choosing what to wear to brushing their teeth.

4. Passive style to deal with conflicts: Faced with a decision, he will prefer that others choose or he will delay the decision in time and as a consequence it will be difficult for him to interact with other children.

5. Decrease in academic performance: Concentration problems in studies and organization, it is difficult for him to start because he must choose which subject he should start with and also assess which one is more important or more urgent to attend to. Therefore, they will take a long time to reach a decision and will waste time without progress in their studies.

6. Increased anxiety When there's something to decide Knowing that he is going to have to make decisions, causes him to generate a great tension (much more than other children his age) and necessarily ends up somatizing it in the body through vomiting, headaches, muscle tension, stuttering, problems digestives….

7. Sleep disturbance: When we talk about alterations, we refer to great restlessness to go to sleep, it can reflect it because you can talk in your sleep (somniloquia) or night terrors or you will not have a continuous dream and sometimes it can be accompanied by crying and you will want to go to sleep with your parents or ask them to keep the light on or the door ajar. At other times, it may be difficult for you to just go to sleep and you will find excuses not to sleep (such as being read a story or what you did today) or you will get angry about going to bed. In this sense, he develops all those characteristics not because he is afraid of the dark, but because he is no longer accompanied or because he does not want to think about the decisions that he will have to make alone.

- Routine it will get him to have more confidence, since it will allow him to anticipate what is coming. Decisions will already be made and your ideas ordered.

- Increase your autonomy: Giving him the responsibility of making decisions little by little without you having to give approval to every detail, will help him take less time to decide. The environment is decisive to promote greater security and if you propose alternatives so that it decides between two things, it will make it easier to develop this skill.

- Improve your self-esteem: If you do not decide, it is also because you think you do not have enough capacity to do so or you think you will not make the best decision. So motivate him by telling him that he can do it and pass on that security that he lacks.

- Reduce criticism: Sometimes we encourage you to do something but if you don't do it perfectly or how we would like it to, we immediately point out your mistake and how you should do it right. By doing this, we think that we help him not to get confused, however in insecure children, this demand will only make the child distrust that he will be able to do well and not try again so as not to feel judged.

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