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For some years now, the tendency of schools has been to separate twins, twins or triplets into different classes. As a mother of twins, my reaction at the beginning was negative, since my daughters had always been together and it was already traumatic enough for them at the beginning of the school stage, even if they were also separated into two different classes.
The school convinced me by alleging some alleged reasons in which it was "proven" that it was better for the siblings since that would strengthen their identity, they would open up more to the group and would not compete with each other. After that the girls started in separate classes, although they could be seen at recesses and the first week they were allowed to see each other from time to time in the middle of classes if they were very sad.
One of them, the most dependent on her sister, began to have problems that we thought were resolved, such as peeing on the bed, she fought at home with her sister about everything, she became more competitive and she complained that her sister's new friends were constantly hogging her and not letting her play with her during recess.
The fact is that we saw how her self-confidence decreased rapidly and she demanded more the presence of her twin when they were not at school. We thought that it was a normal process from the beginning of school and that it would pass, however, the girls are already 7 years old and one of them continues to have difficulties to relate to the other and the competitions between them are stronger than ever, especially when their teachers are not up to par in teaching, cheating on who has less homework or who has less to study less.
We thought that the problems he had at school were the result of his weaker and more dependent character, but we did not realize the real reasons until recently a study came into my hands where it was proven that the allegations given by the schools to separate the twins are totally unfounded and they are not based on any real study, and showing, on the other hand, that these separations were counterproductive because they ran the risk that the children would have all those symptoms that I noticed in one of my daughters.
So reflecting on these four years ago we realized that, indeed, in our case the separation has been disastrous and that has caused my daughter an insecurity and loneliness that has led her to even greater dependence on her sister.
The study advises against applying separation as a school rule, especially in the first years of school life, and it is proposed that parents can choose what is best for their children, something that rarely happens. Many parents of twins have their children separated, (and I no longer want to say triplets where there are two together in the same class and one alone), applying this absurd rule that does not individualize each case and without listening to the opinions of the parents .
The Dutch psychologist Coks Feenstra, author of The Great Book of Twins, says that in many cases this separation is wrong, since studies show kids have a hard time and that many of them suffer from anxiety disorders, withdrawal, setback and even poor academic results.
If you are in this situation, you should choose what you think is best for your children, you are the ones who know them best, and not let separation be imposed as a rule.
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