Controversially

I am "only" mother. I am not a person

I am "only" mother. I am not a person


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The forums and social networking sites are swarming with "specialists in all sorts of matters," who can pour wisdom like any sleeve on any subject. We are experts in everything from sports, through politics, diets, fashion, history, etc. However, the most experts among us are raising children. One of the mothers wrote to us about this matter:

"I am 26 years old and have two children. I got pregnant while still at university and because of complications I had to stop them. It seems that some, including close relatives, will never forget that. I have stopped attending aunts and cousins' birthdays, because no more than 10 minutes pass from the entrance and the question is asked - and you, Iza, are you still doing nothing?

I'm just a mom. I am not a person. My older son suffers from asthma and for this reason he is not in kindergarten yet. There was no place in the nursery for the Junior. My husband earns a good income, he often goes away for weeks on business, but we had to get used to it to keep our group together without a problem. Then almost from morning to night I am on my own. But what's the difference, right? I have nothing to do anyway. And "but I have fun," according to everyone around. "I'm doing well." "A dream, lounging for days."

Do you know what it is like when an older child suffocates and the inhaler breaks somewhere again, and the younger one cries and does not want to peel off your legs? Do you know how much you can have enough shopping with two children, cooking when half the things burn, because no one will help stir in a pot, when you have to suddenly throw everything and run to the child?
Do you like to lie down with your feet up for a moment to relax after work? Sure who wouldn't like it. I would also like it were it not for the fact that at the same time I put together puzzles, do the laundry, read the book and try not to shout out loud.

My day plan looks like this:
6.30 - wake up, holidays, Friday or Sunday. The younger son does not recognize getting up later and immediately wakes the Elder. Morning washing, splashed bathroom, first wiping the floor.
6.45 - dressing up. The younger must have toy socks. They are all in the laundry? He'll roll around the floor until I get out of the laundry basket yesterday and put it on him. Yes, I know, I get terrorized - otherwise an older neighbor from below starts banging on the radiator with a brush, or yells at me in the staircase, because such a loafer as I can at least "silence this jerk so that he does not tear all day" .
7.20 - breakfast. The elder will not eat other cereals for milk than chocolate rings. The younger will be spitting wheels farther than he sees - second wiping the floor.
7.40 - we start having fun - the elder arranges puzzles. The young will use every opportunity to grab a piece and throw it away. Anywhere, in a bowl of uneaten cereals, a toilet. The row begins (greetings to the neighbor)
8.00 - They both start to moan that they want to watch the fairy tale. Everything is great, but could anyone finally shoot something about how the Brave Lion Eric rides a Tomek train so that everyone is happy?
9.00 - second breakfast and a banana trampled on the carpet - I don't know where it came from, seriously.
9.20 - shopping out. The younger sits in a shopping trolley, the Elder roars next to him because he wants to. A guy grumbles "if you can't control your brats, you don't drag them anywhere." At the checkout, it turns out that I have an additional 3 bars in the trolley, a Batmobile model and dog food. No. We don't have a dog.
10.30 - return home. Without dog food - the first small success.
10.50 - The younger brings a potty and shows that he wants to pee. I'm so proud! By the time I leave the room for a while, and upon return I see that it has flooded half the floor - the third wiping.
11.00 - free play, which means that I try to have breakfast, and in the meantime I inflate a balloon, make three boats and a hat from the newspaper, I draw a teddy bear. And another one. And the whole family, until one is sufficiently bearish for the needs of the Elder. In the meantime the Junior devours my sandwich. Only once did it fall down with the smudged side down, it doesn't matter - wiping the floor for the fourth time.
12.00 - I'm starting to cook dinner. The younger will not eat anything that is a carrot. The elder will eat anything, provided he is on a plate with Tomek's train. The plate broke two days ago, I can't find a new one anywhere, a meal is a struggle for arguments. Oops, but the carrot piece remained in the soup - the fifth floor wiping
Are you fed up with what? And it's just a few hours of sweet sluggishness, where is it until the evening? Then you only need to wash and hang out the laundry basket and iron already dried. Remember about socks in toy cars! I wash at night what's up. Or not, because the Elder recently is afraid of Beboka Under the Bed and does not want to sleep alone. He wakes up as soon as I dare to leave the room and take care of myself. You still have to embrace the toys, clean the apartment, take care of yourself in all this and all this with a smile, because you can't instill a sense of guilt for your mother's bad humor.
21.00 - they sleep, success! I eat lunch. And then the cousin calls. "So what's up Izka with you, you hang around as usual, he he he?"

I know that others have the same duties as me and a full-time job. I know that some have three children or more, they give advice and bows to them. But I can't be Wonder Woman anymore, who pretends to be "perfect for me, thanks" and smiles like in a toothpaste advertisement. I'm fed up with the fact that there are no adults around all day to talk to. I'm fed up with the fact that I can't say smart things like "we will do the calculation for you" or "we have a deadline tomorrow", but I have to repeat "ko-tek, how does ko-tek do?" Or "and what a beautiful train drawn with crayons on this the wall that I personally painted two months ago? "
I'm just a mother and I do nothing. I would like to exchange for a day or two with open arms. Such last minute holidays with a discount, if you find this damn plate with a train for me. "

The saying goes that the grass is always greener on the other side. I have told myself many times that I dream of sitting at home with children, without deadlines, telephones and piles of paper. I don't know now, and you?