Controversially

"Do all women have to be crazy after giving birth?" Letter

"Do all women have to be crazy after giving birth?" Letter



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"At the very beginning I will point out that I am a mother of two children. Despite this, I don't understand my colleagues' approach to motherhood. The scale of the problem is so huge that I decided to write to you.

Do you notice how many women lose themselves in parenthood not for a few months (which would be understandable), but for years, forgetting about the whole world? In the place of the brain, they grow a mush, reminiscent of the one that their children feed. No expression, bland and still the same. It is impossible to talk about anything but diaper changes, night feeding, crawling attempts. However, this is not the worst part, but an attempt to persuade the world by a fortified mother about how tired, poor and desperate I am because I don't have time to meet. I think it's some kind symptoms of diaper dermatitis?

Such an unrecognized young mother completely forgets that You on the other side of the phone also have children, but in addition you have a full-time job and somehow you manage. It's hard, but damn it, who is light now? Today? And then these mothers complain that no one remembers them, that friends do not speak. And I ask, how many times you can call, propose a meeting? How many times do you hear stories about little cute children and never hear how you are doing. In such a way that you feel that someone is really interested in the answer. You tell something to a young mother and you see that it doesn't interest her, that she doesn't listen ...

I understand the love for a child. I understand devotion. I do not understand, however, the full fixation and forgetting that in addition to moms we are also wives, friends, we have more needs? Why are we hiding them?

I want to howl, as I see a good friend ruin her marriage, put the guy on the sidelines. He sleeps in a separate room, because the bed has been occupying their child for two years, he returns from work with a sour expression, he increasingly locks himself in his own world, and she says that everything is fine, although they are a bit distant from each other, but this normal because they have a small child. I do not know the statistics, but it can be seen in the media and just in life that a lot of relationships break up when children are small. Mostly men are blamed for going to another one because he shouldn't, he saw that his wife was tired, that children, etc.

Ok that's true.

But did anyone look at it from the other side? What did a young mother do with herself and her life? How effectively did she reject everyone, starting from her husband and ending with friends? Do we really have to be this? Does a child have to change us so much, so badly? " Best regards, Ola