What is your mother afraid of?
I started with a pessimistic introduction, but Being a mother, I think like a mother. Like the person responsible for someone's life, up to at least 18. I want to live, be healthy and happy for myself and the same for my child and my family. And I can't imagine, anyway probably nobody can, that something can go wrong.
I feel compassionate and I can't understand that some of us are not so lucky and give birth to sick, disabled children. And it happens probably and not rarely in times of chemical food, chemistry in cosmetics, clothes, air, in the chemical world.
Just like a miscarriage. There is more and more and people who are closer to me experience it.
Although medicine in theory goes ahead, it does the phenomenon of difficulties at all in getting pregnant and difficulties in carrying a child up to 9 months is almost normal now.
As a mother I'm afraid I won't be able to. Yes, pregnancy is not a disease, but it's easy to talk to someone who hasn't had it endangered pregnancy. How do you function with a small child at your side when the doctor tells you to lie down because of premature contractions and threatens miscarriage? How to lie at home or in the hospital for several months with a small child?
Yes, of course, there are hosts willing to help, in the form of grandparents, aunts and uncles, and a husband who will leave everything, including work, and will accompany us for several months. Of course it's a joke. Because there is nobody except myself. That's why I can't imagine such a situation.
Fortunately, the percentage is probably not so bad and statistically, a minority of women experience these tragic moments in life. And citing it, it's worth taking a chance and trying sometimes.
I personally know cases of strong mothers who, after losing a child in utero, tried. And they gave birth to another healthy child.
But I know the case of a woman who gave birth to two sick children and lost one in utero in the meantime. There is no rule here the risk always exists and the decision is up to the parents.
Eternal question: When is the second?
It's just as annoying as the questions in the series: when is the wedding or when we will finally be grandparents. Only that, being the parent of an only child, you also hear that it is high time for siblings - because the age difference, because he will be alone in this world, etc.
And this is nothing but awakening parents in us, remorse and forcing to make this life decision, which should be independent and ours. We create a family and struggle with all the difficulties associated with having children.
And also because of experience and awareness - what it is like to be a parent, our decision about another child is no longer just an image. We already know what this involves. We know that it's not as icing as we once thought. We know how much time it takes to raise a child in years, it requires. The harder it is to make up your mind.
And time goes by
Time when planning another child is probably the best motivator. And I mean the limitations of our female biological age to having children.
However, I am not motivated by the opinions of others that it is high time, because the only child is growing and the greater the age gap in siblings, the worse. I know from experience that this is different. You can have siblings, and in adulthood lose contact with him. And everyone assured that there would be support etc. etc. Maybe because the only one does not scare me.
Time passes, the decision has not yet been made. I am considering pros and cons all the time. I am afraid to take a risk now when the preschooler still requires my 90% attention. Not yet.
And what are your fears of getting pregnant again?