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"Sibling rivalry"

"Sibling rivalry"

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"You treat him better!", "Why can she and I can't?", "Give it to me, he has it! It's not fair. ”Parents face many challenges every day. When the second child appears, the tests they must pass are more complex. The basic novelty is sibling rivalry, which means also a sense of injustice and attempts to attract attention. How to deal with them?

I cheat on my child

The second child is born a big test for the whole family. It is rarely said, but Brazelton in his publication outlines the problem in detail, showing what feelings the average parent has to face. On the one hand, he is happy about the birth of another child, but on the other he has the impression that cheats on the child, which until now could enjoy the status of an only child and all the benefits associated with it. Parents after the birth of a second child may have an inevitable sense of loss, they know that nothing will look as it has before.

Can children be treated the same?

Brazelton refutes many myths associated with raising children, including that you can love the children the same way or treat them identically. He has repeatedly emphasized that fair treatment is an individual approach to each of the children, and the same way of disciplining and rewarding is not quite a good idea.

He points out that it makes no sense to be guilty of society and the children themselves, because each position in the family (first-born, youngest, middle-aged child) has its pros and cons. One must be aware of these differences, be able to accept them and take them into account in the daily upbringing process.

Arguments and interference by parents

Brazelton, like many modern psychologists, points out that the parent should not be the arbitrator. He is not to be a judge, a policeman or a constant observer. He writes about something that may be a surprise that the constant presence of a parent can give children permission for more decisive actions, more aggressive quarrels, fighting games. Toddlers who are alone in the room and the parent is somewhere nearby but out of sight know that they must resolve their conflicts themselves.

Brazelton also warns against "who started." He emphasizes that children should learn to solve their problems as soon as possible, and that parental intervention should be the last resort.


There is still a lack of sustainable books that will be directed to parents raising at least two children. Too many publications are currently focusing (probably because of changes in family structure and model) on only children. This position fills the gap well. Is a condensed, very well written guide, a source of knowledge for parents of children of all ages. Its undoubted advantage is to describe the changes that can occur in children of different ages, with a different difference between them, which seems very apt and vivid.

I recommend this book without any doubt!


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  3. Nejinn

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