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Do you apologize to the child?

Do you apologize to the child?


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Don't be afraid to make mistakes: children always forgive if they feel heard. (Giovanni Bollea)

"Younger apologizes to the elder", "I will not apologize to the child because I will lose my authority", "I will not admit my mistake or I will be attacked."

Parents are afraid to apologize to their children. Often also adult children. They are afraid to admit their mistake, while demanding that their pupils have this skill. For this they do everything so that the toddler is not too demanding on them, critical, unfair. They want to teach their daughters and sons how to forgive. However, the attitude of "playing infallible", "always right" do harm not only to children, but to themselves ...

Why is not being sorry to children a mistake?

First of all dchildren understand the world and us well. More than we think and sometimes than we would like. They are brilliant observers, so they simply know when we made a mistake and are aware that emotions and guilt tear us. By playing infallible before them, we simply deceive them and show with our attitude that it is necessary. We say that admitting error is weakness, not strength. Meanwhile, it is just the opposite - apologizing to another person, especially a small child, is a sign of maturity and wise love.

Secondly children respect their parents not because they are perfect, because there are no perfect people. They respect that the parent is fair, that is when they see that the parent is following the rules he has established. If what Mum or Dad says is nothing to what he does, his authority breaks up into small pieces very quickly. If a parent teaches that when we make a mistake, we should apologize and rectify our wrongs, and do not act in this way towards the nearest person - a child, then it is difficult to expect good consequences of such actions.

When to apologize to a child?

Always. Regardless of age. Especially if something that requires an apology has happened. If by accident we demolished the tower to a two-year-old, we have deducted an annual walking baby, then we apologize are necessary. Of course, short, simple, appropriate to the situation.

With age, the child's belief that the parent is always right should be weaker. Already 3-4 years old toddler should be aware that no one is infallible - mum or dad also. It is worth to be aware that a parent may sometimes make a mistake because they do not have the proper knowledge and preparation, that sometimes, despite good intentions, they are wrong.

By showing your child your apologies. The child deserves respect, regardless of how old he is. According to psychologists, if the parent never apologizes to the child, the toddler grows up in a sense of fear, injustice and harm. On the other hand, you must not take offense at the child, or blame the toddler for not being patient or calm enough.

By apologizing to a child, we teach him that everyone has the right to make mistakes. We build in it a sense of value and self-confidence. In addition, we teach how to forgive others and deal with it when something goes wrong. We show that we recognize our own imperfections, but we decide to work on them.

Otherwise, for apologies to make sense, apologize in a proper way. Be sure to look straight in the eye, speak calmly and with love. Always say clearly what you apologize to the child for.

How to apologize to a child?

Please apologize for the specific behavior: "I'm sorry I shouted at you. This is not a good way ... You better control yourself "," I'm sorry I stepped on your toy, I did it inadvertently. " You should never say, "I'm sorry, I'm a weak parent," give yourself and your child the right to make mistakes, while not blaming the child for their bad behavior.

The child may make us angry, but our anger comes from us. The child is not responsible for our behavior, actions and words.