Small child

Why do children lie? Because they learn it from us!

Why do children lie? Because they learn it from us!


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You can sometimes hear the statement that something must be true, because the child would not lie. Unfortunately, as it turns out, this is a very wrong assumption. Children lie, and often. They fantasize, distort facts, tell fake stories. At parents, every catch of a toddler telling untruths is worrying. They often ask the question: why did this happen? How is it possible that their beloved child can, looking them straight in the eye, lie without any problem?

A lie or a child's fantasy?

However, before we begin to wonder: why?, It is worth first to understand what a lie really is. We can talk about a lie when someone deliberately and intentionally misleads others. A child of several years it cannot always separate the real world from the world of fairy tales, often the border between what is real and what is only literary fiction is blurred, which is why he will often make up and tell untrue stories. His ability to distinguish good from evil is still very poorly developed.

Speaking of untruths is due to exuberant imagination and emotional immaturity. Is unconscious and not a means to an end, so it can't be considered a lie. Let's not force a few years old to confess that the stories he tells are crazy.

Translating and reproaching that after all he wasn't with his grandmother yesterday, he can't drive a car and his best imaginary friend doesn't exist - it doesn't make any sense. These types of children's fantasies are a natural stage in the child's development and should not be worried about this. Over the years, however, it gains more and more knowledge about the world around it and its rules, it is easier for him to distinguish good from evil, separate fiction from the real world. In the end, he begins to understand what a lie is and to use it fully consciously.

Interestingly, the fact that the child begins to lie is a confirmation of his proper development. For telling untruths is needed specific skills. First of all, the ability to perceive human behavior in the category of evil and good and, consequently, to take action based on known moral principles, and not as a result of mindless imitation of adults.

The reasons for our lies

Toddlers can insist on their arguments, even if the facts clearly show against them. Sometimes they completely don't want to admit their mistake. Instead, they invent new stories and get tangled up in their testimonies. However, should the reasons for this type of behavior be sought only in the nature of the child? Don't we adults behave identically sometimes?

As it turns out, children often do not speak for the same reasons as adults. They can lie for fear of the consequences of their actions, fearing punishment, for the need to attract attention, for not accepting, for wanting to get something.

They try to lie deal with the situation that surpasses them. They make up in moments of stress, out of curiosity, out of shame, for fun, laziness. Sometimes they tell different untrue stories to impress peers, gain their acceptance, they express their hidden dreams and desires, desire to change reality.