Small child

An only child - selfish and selfish?

An only child - selfish and selfish?


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People with no siblings often have many negative attributes. There is a belief that only children are egoists. According to the stereotype, if you do not have a brother or sister, you are certainly selfish, you can't lose, share with others or work in a group. Feeling empathy is alien to you, because you mainly think about yourself, and being well done, you will undoubtedly grow into a daddy's sissy or spoiled daughter. On the other hand, it is you who focuses all your parents' attention and often you have to face their excessive ambitions. Because you spend most of your time with adults, you can't make good relationships with your peers, and as a result, you often feel lonely and misunderstood by other children.

Listening to this type of opinion, one gets the impression that the lack of siblings deprives us of the chance for a happy childhood and has a negative impact on our adult life. However, is this really the case?

Today, mainly for financial reasons, more and more young couples are choosing the 2 + 1 family model. Admitting the desire to have only one child, young parents can often hear cautions: "Only an only child! Do you want to raise an egocentric? Do not do this to your child. "And here are the arguments: From whom, if not from a brother or sister, will the child learn to solve conflicts in the group? Who will make an only child realize that he is not the navel of the world and that everything does not have to be as he wants? Who will teach him that others have their opinions and should be taken into account? How will he acquire the ability to share with others if he never has such a need? ...

There is one answer to these and many other questions: it should be taught to all parents! The help of siblings is obviously invaluable here, however, remember that regardless of whether we have one or a group of children, the most important is wise upbringing.

Children need children

It is important to allow an only child to contact his peers as often as possible. Let's visit him to friends, use playgrounds, sign up for educational classes, let us have fun in the yard.

Recently, I witnessed this scene: A small boy of less than a few years old stood on the side of the sandpit. Anxious and ashamed. Although it was obvious that he wanted to, he could not very much join the fun with the screaming bunch. One of the neighborhood mothers commented on it with the words: "Because he was only with his mother all the time. Not what these "nursery rascals" ... Of course, this does not mean that immediately all parents should give their children to the nursery, otherwise they will have problems with making contacts. However, it is worth remembering how much our child can learn from other children and try to give her as many opportunities as possible.

Don't accelerate growing up

Another problem in families where there is only one child is the fact that the toddler, spending all days with adults, as a result, begins to behave like a "small adult". In addition, when all parents' attention is focused on him, he often has to face their excessive ambitions. The child is then treated as a "something" that can be proud of, used in competition with others.

The toddler has no right to choose. He is drawn into the adult world, in which he was given the status of "adult", while depriving him of the basic right of an adult - the right to make his own decisions. Let's remember not to deprive our children of their childhood. Let's not accelerate their growing up, let's grow at our own pace. Let them be children.